On Suffering

Sometimes we must be honest with ourselves. We don't like it, but by God's grace and the wisdom of the Holy Spirit, we get to a point where we have to deal with our biggest problem; ourselves. So I'm going to be honest with you and myself. Honestly, I'm going to be as honest as I can. There have been times in my life when I have suffered (usually by my own doing). I'm not going to list the different occasions throughout my life which would fall under the self-defined category of 'Mike's Sufferings'. It is not my intention to walk you through what I consider suffering to be only for you to think of the trials in your own life and call me a light weight or a saint, or whatever. And this will not be an attempt to garner sympathy or to impress anyone. I'm not sure if you will agree with me, but sometimes I (we) have a tendency to redefine words based on the world we perceive and live in. For instance, when I was a young boy I used to define beautiful women as airplane stewardesses and cosmetic sales women. As of boy of 11, I was convinced that there were no more beautiful women then these. At 25 I married a women who was neither a stewardess or in cosmetic sales yet externally beautiful. I had redefined my understanding of female beauty. It moved beyond external wonder and now included an inner beauty, strength and love for another: me. And after 13 years of marriage and the blessing of our 10 year old daughter, my mental context of female beauty continues to expand and deepen in depth of love: for my wife and daughter. My point is, that we continually readjust our psychological constructs for the emotions and experiences of our lives.

When I was growing up in Hawaii (I know, "He grew up in Hawaii and he's going to espouse on suffering?") my youngest brother walked up behind me as I was sitting on the edge of the pool cooling my feet. He proceeded to hit me over the head with a framing hammer in retaliation for something that I did two weeks prior. Upon hearing my cries my mother came out to the backyard and proceeded to ground me to my room for crying in the pool (she has recently confessed her wrong judgment and repented of ever dispnesing punishment again without getting all of the facts). So that day as I lie in my bed holding my head, crying not because of the pain, but because of the injustice I had faced. I was suffering the injustice of another.

That may have been one of the toughest trials of suffering that I expereinced as a kid. Since then I have suffered through watching really bad acting when I was studying to be an actor during week night workshops in L.A., I have suffered really bad meals, like the time my parents made me eat every single bite of a Strawberry Chiffon pie that I just 'had to have'. I have suffered the loss of friends who died in the prime of their lives and loved ones taken by cancer. I have suffered the betrayal of friends, the wounds of wrongful accusations, the repercussions of my own doing, really bad movies, a much needed Latte served luke warm, and the rejection of others. You might read this list and identify with it. Recently, when I couldn't find my Ipod for this trip I really felt persecuted, like "how can I fly half way around the world and not have my Ipod?" And what's really embarrassing is that I truly felt like I was sacrifcing something significant and thinking "God I hope you see the sacrifice I am making as I go to empower the church to fulfill its grace inspired work of rescuing the orphans in their time of distress!" Wow, what arrogance and selfishness (just being honest). I am ashamed to even have thought that. Somewhere in the rummages of my heart and the simplicity of my mind I think that sometimes our definition of suffering is directly tied to our depth of gratefulness. The Apostle Paul counted it as pure joy to suffer. He wrote to the Church in Colossi, 'Now I rejoice in my sufferings for your sake, and in my flesh I am filling up what is lacking in Christ's afflictions for the sake of his body, that is, the church,' (1:24). Now what did Christ do in that mans life to make him write something like that? Or better yet, to actually experience the affliction and suffering and then rejoice in it? Let's save this discussion for another time.

I ask you, "How are you suffering?" Or, "how do you define suffering?" Remember, I'm not making a judgment on anyone- though you are free to judge me. No I ask these questions and challenge you to face how you define suffering in your life. Now define suffering in your life if you call yourself a Christian. Go ahead and be honest. Again, this is a sanctifying process not a self-condemning or self-affirming one. Just ask the Holy Spirit to give you your context.

Now, as an evangelical you most likely have a presupposed context of Christian suffering. I'm not talking about how you suffer when you look in the Sunday bulletin and your favorite worship song isn't listed, or get totally upset when the coffee runs out when Bible Study class is beginning, or when you finally serve in the children’s area and grumble under your breath because they actually do play your favorite worship song and you missed it. By the way, if you have ever attended church with me you know that I never do any of those things. No, I am talking about the articles we read about Christian persecution in our favorite evangelical rags like CHRISTIANITY TODAY or THE VOICE OF THE MARTYR or many other websites and ministry communications that bring the suffering and death of world wide Christians to our suburban doorsteps and city stoops. We hear stories of Christians being martyred and suffering enormous cruelties and this information frames the majority of our context on Christian suffering. It serves as a general frame of reference which dominates our Christian conversations on what we would openly discuss as true suffering. But many times this is the Sunday school answer. But somehow we don't add in our own personal sufferings to the conversation, the poor music choice or lack of coffed, topics that we readily put under the banner of Christian Suffering.

We know the world wide suffering of the church to be true but we don't personally experience it or live amidst it so it's distant, external, and impersonal. And when we attempt to pray for the persecuted church (try it sometime, its quite a challenge) we (I) find it very difficult to truly empathize and personalize our intercession for the persecuted (whoever and where ever they are?). I'm just being honest. But being confronted with oursleves in this regard is good. This is the mercy of God: His gentle hand of humbling us and of self-examination. This is for our good, not to help us become more informed churchgoers or to generate more impressive prayers at prayer meetings. His intention is to make the personal issues of the Godhead the personal and passionate issues of His people: to cry as one body and to experience joy as one new creation in Christ.

In the past 48 hours I have been confronted with a whole new context of Christian suffering. Not a far off, read on a blog, saw the DVD kind of suffering. I have looked into the eyes and heard the stories of believers who are being persecuted daily for their faith. I have sat amidst a group of Iranian believers who are in exile in fear of their lives and the lives of their families back in their home land. I have broken bread and prayed with a young pastor who flippantly speaks of when they were 'beaten and imprisoned' or when they were illegally detained a week ago and taken to an unkown station for interrogation and possible execution. Or believers who receive weekly death threat calls on their cell phones. Or have been threatened with death by Islamic republics if they do not abandoned the Gospel. It is amazing how a psychological context can change when you get close to the topic. Your pre-existing mental context tells you that fire is hot, but put your hand in it and I guaruntee you that your definition will be 'broadened’.

I have been contemplating and reading a bit on the idea of suffering. I even asked some of you to join in a discussion on this topic in a previous post entitled 'Suffering'. I think it is worth noting that references to suffering in the New Testament are almost always in the context of suffering for Christs sake, for the sake of the Gospel. This is the context in which Christians experience what would be defined as suffering. So my lack of coffee before Bible Study doesn't count anymore. Again, I'm just being honest. And in the spirit of honesty, let us not forget what our Lord spoke to the Apostle Paul: “Go, for he is a chosen instrument of mine to carry my name before the Gentiles and kings and the children of Israel. For I will show him how much he must suffer for the sake of my name”. As chosen instruments of the Lord’s are you and I to expect anything different? I think not. But are we all called to endure the same amount of suffering? History suggests that our individual sufferings are as varied as the snowflakes. For only one man endured the suffering of the cross. Be encouraged in the midst of your trial and for you who suffer according to God’s will entrust your soul to a faithful Creator while doing good. And take joy that to suffering you have been called, because Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example, so that you might follow in his steps.

Let us be thankful to God because for the time being He has passed this cup from our lips. But remember, someone else is drinking from it.