Friendship

My Son,

I want to talk to you about friendship.

I have come to the realization that in most cases, I am never quite the friend that my friends are to me. To clarify, what I mean is that in most cases my friends are better friends to me than I typically am to them. I’m not proud of this and I’m also not beating myself up over it- it’s just a reality that I am willing to admit. As I grow older, I am learning to understand and appreciate the depth and value of friends. So I want to share some thoughts with you around the subject of friendship. Let us first start with this foundational thought: we are only able to be a true friend if we are in Christ. Until one is redeemed and born again by the Holy Spirit it is impossible to fully be human- to live out our humanity as God intended. So I write to you, a fellow follower of Jesus, who loves Him more than anything else this world or that any other has to offer.

To begin with, I think it is important to treasure friendship, to foster it, and to be a good friend to others. The Bible tells us that Jesus, the Lord of Heaven and Earth, calls us who are not worthy his friends. ‘When Jesus saw their faith, he said, "Friend, your sins are forgiven."’ [Luke 5:19] It is an amazing thing to realize that Jesus calls us friend. It is an awesome and humbling thing to ponder the truth that He desires friendship with us. It’s almost more unthinkable to comprehend that He gave up everything to be our friend. And consider this: the Bible says that even when we hated Him, when we were opposed to Him, He loved us.

I challenge you to spend some time contemplating this question: how does Jesus model friendship? Just think about it for bit. As you ponder His life and what others wrote about him, what comes to mind? I have mulled this over a bit and I submit the following for you to think about.

Jesus values his friends more than himself… Jesus left all the riches, power, and dominion of Heaven. He became poor and embraced our poverty, becoming like you and me, in the form of a small child who was born in obscurity. “For you know the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, that though he was rich, yet for your sake he became poor, so that you by his poverty might become rich.” [2 Cor 8:9] Take all of what you know about Jesus’ existence in heaven and in the community of the Trinity and consider what it meant to give all of that up for a world that did not want Him. ‘He was in the world, and though the world was made through him, the world did not recognize him. He came to that which was his own, but his own did not receive him.’ [John 1:10-11] Can we put our selves aside just a bit and value our friendships more than ourselves? I pray we do.

Jesus loves his friends just as they are… Jesus loved his friends just as they were. He loved Peter who denied he ever knew him. He loved Judas, greeting him as ‘friend’ as He was betrayed. ‘Now the betrayer had given them a sign, saying, "The one I will kiss is the man; seize him." And he came up to Jesus at once and said, "Greetings, Rabbi!" And he kissed him. Jesus said to him, "Friend, do what you came to do."’[Mat 26: 48-50b] He loved John the Baptist who doubted him. He loves you and he loves me even when we are unlovable. Can we not praise God for how unique he has made each of the friends in our lives? Let us both look at our own imperfections before we begin to disparage the ‘flaws’ in others.

Jesus befriends those whom no one else likes… Look at your friendships and think about who 'isn’t’ in your mix of friends. Now think on who His friends were. Jesus befriended tax collectors, lepers, prostitutes, known sinners, enemies of Israel, the rich, the poor, the non-religious, the marginalized, and the disenfranchised (Mat 11:19). One thing that I love about the Gospel of Grace is that Jesus doesn’t ask us to go and clean our selves up before he loves us; he comes to us and loves us in the midst of our 'undesireableness'. Think of it this way: Jesus doesn’t ask us to shower before we get into the pool. I love the Grace that creates friendships between people like me and Jesus Christ. I challenge you to go out of your comfort zone of friends; love those whom the world could care less about. In the face of the poor you will see Jesus and what you do unto the least of these you will have done unto Him. Pretty cool.

Jesus forgives his friends… I mentioned above that Peter had denied Jesus three times before he was crucified. John records in the 21st chapter of his Gospel an account of the healing and reconciliation afforded Peter by Christ. I find it profoundly revealing about Jesus that, while he had only a short time on earth between his resurrection and ascension, he made it a point to forgive his friend Peter, to encourage him, and to challenge him with the future ministry of ‘feeding His sheep’. God forgives us, restores us, and puts us to use for his purposes. We are redeemed by Christ for more than just ourselves! As Christ hung on a tree, put there by the people he came to ransom, he prayed for them. He asked the Father to forgive them for what they were doing for they ‘knew not’ what they were doing. Spend a minute thinking on the implications of Christ forgiving those who killed him… In light of this, can you and I forgive others just a bit more? Can we pray for those who would destroy us?

Jesus prays for his friends… Are we truly praying for our friends? I mean, really praying for them in Kingdom ways? I’m not talking about the shopping list of needs: ‘I need to pass this test’, ‘I need a new car’, ‘I wish my Ipod would work’, etc. No, I’m talking about the kind of prayer that Christ prayed for you and me in John chapter 17. Read His High Priestly prayer. When you get to verse 6 and what follows, think about what He prayed for those whom are his: “I am praying for them.” First of all, let us not rush by the fact that he is praying for us, and continues constantly [see Hebrews 7:25]….”and I am glorified in them.” Let us pray that Christ is glorified in the lives of our friends. “Holy Father, keep them in your name which you have given me,” he prays for our us to be preserved, “that they may be one,” for unity like that of the Trinity... “even as we are one.” “I am coming to you, and these things I speak in the world, that they may have my joy fulfilled in themselves.” He prays for our lives to be filled with the Joy of knowing him. “I do not ask that you take them out of the world, but that you keep them from the evil one.” We are left in the world as the light in the darkness. Are you praying for your friends to be protected from the enemy? For purity in relationships that they may not be overtaken by the forces of this world? I love this next one, “Sanctify them in the truth; your word is truth.” Finally, “And for their sake I consecrate myself, that they also may be sanctified in truth.” Pray for the continued sanctification, the setting apart, of your friendships that they may be consecrated unto holiness: that is our witness to the world- lives that look different by making Godly choices. My Son, you are never more like Jesus then when you intercede for others.

Jesus keeps his promises… This statement seems pretty obvious. However, we must view his honesty, his promise keeping, and his faithfulness as full disclosure of his true nature. This is what I want you to contemplate: the nature and character of Jesus. His true character and nature is evidenced not only by what he says, but also by what he does. When we take seriously our word to others, we begin to live lives that reflect the very character of the God we serve. In Ephesians, Paul raises the bar for us who are called unto life. He calls us to “be imitators of God, as beloved children. And [to] walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.” [Eph 5:1-2] What is it to imitate God? At the foundation of this is the call to imitate the very nature and character of your creator. Let your yes be yes and your no be no. Do what you say you will do and when you do not, be forthcoming and humble in your failings. Do not lie for God hates lying. ‘There are six things that the Lord hates, seven that are an abomination to him: haughty eyes, a lying tongue, hands that shed innocent blood, a heart that devises a wicked plan, feet that make haste to run to evil, a false witness who breathes out lies, and one who sows discord among brothers.' [Proverbs 6:16] Remember, God cares more about your character than anything you will ever do for him. Read Psalm 1 and memorize it. Oh, and don’t ever forget it.

Jesus loves his friends… Again this may seem pretty obvious, for God is love. But let me make a simple point. Jesus defines the love he has for us in very drastic and clear terms: he willingly dies for us. He, who didn’t have to do anything for us, willing left everything. He, who was rich, became poor so that he could befriend an unworthy and unwilling people. He, who loved the world even as it murdered him, laid down his life for his sheep. My son, I cannot define love and how we are to love others any better than what God says about it through the Apostle John: “This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers. If anyone has material possessions and sees his brother in need but has no pity on him, how can the love of God be in him? Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth. This then is how we know that we belong to the truth, and how we set our hearts at rest in his presence whenever our hearts condemn us. For God is greater than our hearts, and he knows everything.”[1 John 3:16-20]

Can you and I pray to be a bit more like the one we call Master? Can we, the students, apply what our Teacher teaches us? Can you and I be a better friend to our parents? To our brothers and sisters? To those we call friends? I want to challenge you to give serious consideration to these questions. I am not asking to do anything that I am not willing to do. I too am asking myself these very same things, for I long to be like the One who gave up everything for us who did not deserve it.

Other than God, there are only two things that are forever: heaven or hell and people. All else will fade away. We are given the greatest commandment, which Christ says is the summation of the law: to love God and to love our neighbor even as ourselves. I submit to you that when we truly love others- being a Christ-like friend to them- we are loving our neighbor and we are loving God. You see, to love God is to obey him. To love others is to be most like our brother Jesus. When we love others as Christ does we are obeying Him, AND our obedience to his command is our greatest act of loving Him in return. I leave you with this:

“We know that we have come to know him if we obey his commands. The man who says, "I know him," but does not do what he commands is a liar, and the truth is not in him. But if anyone obeys his word, God's love is truly made complete in him. This is how we know we are in him: Whoever claims to live in him must walk as Jesus did.” [1 John 2:3-6].

Love,
Your Father